Comparison (n) a consideration or estimate of the similarities or dissimilarities between two things or people.

Comparison. It’s something I’ve always struggled with in my life. Not necessarily because I compare myself or others to one another, but by the mere fact that comparison never results in anything positive, yet so many people entertain it. It consumes us in our day-to-day lives. We spend time scrolling on socials comparing our lives to those that are portrayed as perfect. We compare our wardrobes to the person we see never repeating an outfit online. We compare our education and jobs to the people we see posting updates on LinkedIn. We compare our relationships to those we see posted on the holiday cards that come in the mail. We don’t stop. Yet the funny thing about the definition of the word “comparison” is that it’s an estimate of the differences between two things. It’s a self-curated idea of what we perceive to be true, which we suddenly we give value to. Comparison is the thief of joy. There’s no doubt about it.

If we are being honest with one another, the idea of comparison implies that there is only one person who can be victorious. The idea of comparison implies that there’s only one way to do something. The idea of comparison implies that one thing is truly lesser than another. The reality is: none of this is true. Life isn’t a race. The way you live your life should not a competition to be “The World’s Greatest,” and there are a multitude of ways to reach the same result.

Is Everything Really a Race?
We tend to line ourselves up amongst our peers, our friends, our own family, and size one another up. Who’s the most successful? Who’s the tallest? Who’s the most in shape? Who’s making the most amount of money? Who’s dating the hottest person? Who’s the hottest person in the group? Who’s the best dressed? Who’s the most “put together”? All these thoughts allude to a reality as though there is only one person who can gun for such a title/spot amongst your community. This can be so toxic and, to an extent, debilitating. Thoughts like this can trick you into believing that if you can’t win, then you deserve no credit. The reality is everything you are doing is great, every step of the way. I would hope you are surrounded by the best of people where everyone can hold these titles you create in your head. Read more  oursocalled20s.com

Give Credit Without Discrediting
I know you may see a picture or hear a life update about someone and think, “Wow, look at what they’re doing.” I think that’s a natural and human instinct. Nothing wrong with that. It’s what comes after that thought that makes the difference. You have two choices. One, you can think, “Wow. Look at what they’re doing. I wish I had that,” or you can think, “Wow. Look at what they’re doing. That’s amazing. I’m so happy for them.” Do you see the difference between those thought processes? One praises someone and has a genuine happiness for them. The other plants envy and negativity in someone else’s accomplishments.

There is this common misconception that when one person wins, another person loses. I couldn’t find a statement more untrue. When one person wins, one person wins! That’s it. Being able to celebrate other people’s success while being able to acknowledge where you are in your own personal journey is HUGE. You can give credit to someone without discrediting someone else or even yourself. They’re two mutually exclusive parties. One does not depend on the other. So, stop living your life as though they do.

We All Know Social Media Is Fake, Right?
Social media. The good ole source of comparison. I know it’s 2024, but I just want to make sure we all know that everything on social media is fake. The “perfect” vacations, the “perfect” relationships, the “Instagramable” dinners, the “wild nights out,” all of it. Social media is a highlight reel – nothing more, nothing less. It’s an avenue for everyone to flex their best moments, one square or story at a time. Filters enhance each photo one shade at a time and suddenly you start to believe that every beach vacation has crystal clear blue waters and everyone drives an Aston Martin at 23. That “dream couple” on Instagram or TikTok – you have no idea what happened 20 seconds before or after that moment was captured. You have no idea what that person is struggling with in his or her personal life. It’s all bullsh*t, and the second you realize that is the second you’ll stop comparing yourself to the impossible. At the end of the day, how can you compare yourself to something that doesn’t exist in real life? That’s like comparing yourself to ancient folklore – it’s all made up.

Imagine
Imagine the best kind of community. One where accomplishments, milestones, excitement, and joy are celebrated at every corner. Imagine a community where everyone leans on one another to become a better version of themselves. Imagine a community where there are no losers, only winners. Imagine a community where the success of one benefits many. I can proudly say I am grateful to have a community like that. I assure you it is the best kind of community to be a part of, and I couldn’t imagine my life any other way.

In my community, everyone wins when one person wins, and I truly mean it. If you think about it, having a GROUP of kick as* people is 10x cooler than having a community with only one shining star. If there was a football team comprised of a bunch of Tom Bradys, that team would be undefeatable. Think of your community in the same way! If one person obtains a really cool connection, doesn’t everyone? Suddenly, you are only a degree of separation away from that same connection. If someone gets their dream job, how cool is it that you have a friend who is happy and radiates that joy even during your Wednesday slum at work? Success is a ripple effect, and I would much rather be surrounded by that energy than a soul-sucking, negative, competitive, social-climbing community. Because at the end of the day, no one wins in a community like that.

Be Kind to Yourself
There are enough things to worry about in the world. Don’t add something else to the list that is ultimately impossible. You, yourself, are great just as you are. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to grow, develop, and improve yourself as a person. I think change should always be encouraged. But there’s a big difference between doing something because you want to improve and trying to change something because you want what you perceive someone else has. Additionally, changing for the sake of receiving the same notoriety that you think someone else has is just a miserable way to live. Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t let it enter your life and bring you down. I’m sure there are already enough burdens that weigh on you. Something tells me you don’t need to worry about this anymore.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Let it go and keep it out of your life. You’ll be much better without it.