This book talks about the importance of these prime years and how the decisions you make now, truly will have an effect on the opportunities and decisions you can make later. Jay compares clients she’s had over the years and the parallelism in their lives until they both hit a fork in the road. She examines the differences in their outcomes and how what seemed to have been the smallest decisions, led to the largest difference in impact. The book is broken up into sections on career, finances, relationships, and friends, reminding us of the importance of being strong foundations in each pillar. Highly recommend this book to anyone in their 20s.
Favorite Quotes:
“Forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. … Do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that’s an investment in who you might want to be next.”
“Twentysomethings who don’t feel anxious and incompetent at work are usually overconfident or underemployed.”
“Our 20s are the defining decade of adulthood. 80% of life’s most defining moments take place by about age 35. 2/3 of lifetime wage growth happens during the first ten years of a career. More than half of Americans are married or are dating or living with their future partner by age 30. Personality can change more during our 20s than at any other decade in life. Female fertility peaks at 28. The brain caps off its last major growth spurt. When it comes to adult development, 30 is not the new 20. Even if you do nothing, not making choices is a choice all the same. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do.”
“The future isn’t written in the stars. There are no guarantees. So claim your adulthood. Be intentional. Get to work. Pick your family. Do the math. Make your own certainty. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do. You are deciding your life right now.”
“While most would agree with Socrates that, “the unexamined life is not worth living,” a lesser-known quote by Sheldon Kopp might be more important here: “The unlived life is not worth examining.”
“The one thing I have learned is that you can’t think your way through life. The only way to figure out what to do is to do—something.”
“Doing something later is not automatically the same as doing something better”
“I feel like I’m in the middle of the ocean. Like I could swim in any direction but I can’t see land on any side so I don’t know which way to go.”
“Marriage is one of our most defining moments because so much is wrapped up in it. If building a career is like spending twelve hours at the blackjack table—seeing the cards as you make your decisions, playing each hand with current winnings in mind, having a new opportunity to take a chance or play it safe with every card dealt—then choosing a mate is like walking over to the roulette wheel and putting all your chips on red 32.”
“Identity capital is our collection of personal assets. It is the repertoire of individual resources that we assemble over time. These are the investments we make in ourselves, the things we do well enough, or long enough, that they become a part of who we are. Some identity capital goes on a résumé, such as degrees, jobs, test scores, and clubs. Other identity capital is more personal, such as how we speak, where we are from, how we solve problems, how we look. Identity capital is how we build ourselves—bit by bit, over time. Most important, identity capital is what we bring to the adult marketplace. It is the currency we use to metaphorically purchase jobs and relationships and other things we want.”
