I’m going to start by calling myself out here. I might be one of the worst people when it comes to being present. I almost always think about the future and just operate in the present. Most days, I feel like I’m running on autopilot. I’m not proud of it, and I am truly working on drastically changing this part of my life. May I say… it is not easy! I’ve realized that part of my issue is that my job requires me to constantly live in the future. I operate in an industry that works in the future for large events scheduled six months to a year out. I can’t live in the present or I lose focus and forget to handle something. My flights, hotels, travel schedule, and sometimes my meals are even planned out several months in advance. Naturally, my day-to-day schedule is also already planned out by mid-day of the previous day. Now, that doesn’t mean things don’t change or I never go off script, but it certainly does propel me to operate in autopilot for the current day so I can worry about and focus on the future.
I’m not proud of it, but I’ve been known to send emails or hop on impromptu work calls while in the peak of a fun event and making memories with friends. This harsh reality hit me last year. The truth of the matter is that this lifestyle is not at all what I want to live or continue to attribute to. To say the least, there are many changes brewing, and I think they’re all for the best. The root of all these changes is the focus and goal of being more present.
Distractions in Modern Day Life
We live in a world where every company, entertainer, and news outlets constantly fight for our attention every second of the 
day. They battle for our attention, our money, our vote, and so on. Our world today constantly dangles a carrot in front of us, telling us to “come here” and indulge in something better than what we already have. We become tunnel-visioned and struggle to see what’s actually around us, not right in front of our eyes for that millisecond of time, so being present isn’t as easy as it once seemed.
Have you ever been able to sit outside in the morning, sip on your coffee, and not instantly grab your phone to scroll through social media to catch up on what you missed last night (the past)? Have you ever woken up on a Friday and immediately checked your group messages to see if there were any plans for the evening or the weekend (the future)? Have you ever gone to a show and watched it through your phone as you record the coolest moments to “save for later” (the future)? Have you ever gone to the gym to work out and constantly checked your phone or smartwatch notification in-between sets? Because I have. How can you not in today’s world?! The world is full of distractions. Something as simple as being present seems like a painstaking punishment that riddles your body and mind with anxiety and fear.
My Realization
I know the feeling all too well. I have an absolute love for nature, and places that have more animals than people are my favorite places to escape to. I try to make an annual trip to Wyoming to kick off each new year for this exact reason. This past year, I went out to ski and see friends and detach from the world. Every year, it is typically the highlight of my year and the trip I look forward to the most. This year was no different. I went with a dear childhood friend of mine. We made time to see the new hot springs that were built across from the old natural ones we used to visit. We had planned to leave the slopes a bit early that day so we could enjoy the hot springs with a local friend and watch the day turn to dusk.
The view was perfect. The temperature was a chilly 6°F, but the water was a nice 98°F, and we had ice cold sparkling drinks on the edge of the hot springs to tie all the temperatures together. The air was still, and it was perfectly quiet. All the things I wanted to enjoy on this trip were right in front of me, and I was spending time with some of the people I love the most in life. You want to know the sad part? We had a 2.5-hour reservation, but the whole time I sat there feeling antsy, thinking about all that I needed to accomplish when I got home. My mind couldn’t comprehend the current moment because I was so busy planning the next and worrying about the past (my emails and missed texts from my day on the slopes). I thought we were nearing our 2-hour mark, but when I checked my phone (of course I covered it up by getting everyone a drink refill), it turns out only 30 minutes had actually passed. I was THAT anxious, and over what? I was consumed by everything except what was right in front of me. I found myself growing irritable and stressed while in the middle of what I define as paradise. The trip itinerary that I had once dreamed over was now becoming a source of anxiety and greatly unappreciated.
That night, I talked to my childhood friend about it all. I told my friend how much I’ve struggled with the idea of just being still and how much I really wanted to correct this bad habit this year. I told them how important it was to me to start living in the moment. I’m grateful to have someone like this friend to hold me accountable and point out when I trip up…and boy, do I trip up. I’ve also worked with my therapist on this, as well. There is always a root cause for these kinds of behaviors. It’s been super helpful for me to have the deeper understanding of self, my triggers, and a new set of tools to deal with it all. I’m a work in progress, but I will say, the days in which I am the most successful are some of the most fun and happy days for me.
Mindfulness in Daily Life
Being present isn’t about the hippie dippy part of it. It can be if that brings you joy in life, and I’d encourage you to lean into it. 
But when I say “be present,” I’m talking about enjoying the fruits of your labor in the moment and embracing the life that is being lived before you. It’s not about wishing and hoping for what you’d love to have in the future that is not even close to guaranteed. It’s about enjoying the now, the tangible, memorable, and fleeting moments of time that you truly cannot get back. Living in the present is about breathing and truly living in the world you are standing in. Not living with a screen in between you and the real world. Not taking photos to share with people later. Not planning something now for later. It’s just about the now. Enjoying the time that is promised to you at the moment before you have no choice but to reminisce on all the days and memories from before while you firmly grasp onto the time that you have left.
Being present is about loving and enjoying the time you have with your friends, family, and loved ones. It’s about learning the lessons and hearing the messages and conversations that the world gives you that day. Being present can also look like relaxing and fully comprehending the activity you are doing. Being present is about enjoying and harvesting instead of reaping and sowing. I know it can seem daunting for so many, but there will come a time in your life when you wish you enjoyed some time or event more. You wish you remembered more. You wish you talked about something more. I know I have already experienced those moments myself, about 60 years before I ever thought I’d have to worry about them. Don’t let that lead further into your life…that leads to regret.
Building Healthy Habits for Mindfulness
- Put your phone away. (I know…easier said than done.)
- Create phone-free events or plans with friends.
- Have your phone set on do not disturb at a certain point in the day when you want to focus on self-care. Tip: there’s a do not disturb feature on iPhones when you out are at dinners. Use it!
- Go outside and touch grass! I know we use the phrase “touch grass” as a joke nowadays, but it’s a real thing we should all do daily.
- Ask your friend to be your accountability partner.
- Don’t pick up your phone first thing in the morning. (Getting a real alarm clock has helped me do this!)
- Have slow mornings.
- Go on a walk and listen to the sounds around you. (I know this sounds stupid, but I did this recently and forgot how often I don’t actually hear the birds chirping. How sad is that?)
Enjoy Your Life
At its core, being present is about enjoying life, not just going through the motions. Live in the moment! Life can be mundane and boring as it is. It doesn’t need your help to achieve that. But to make up for the boring and mundane moments, enjoy the beautiful, bright, wholesome, wild, spontaneous, unhinged, and joyous moments of life. The only way to do that is to be more present.
One Response
An important lesson I learned from a NCO who had been in the Navy for 20 years was that (almost) no moment is ever as bad as you think it is; no single second is ever so unbearable that you can’t make it to the next second. When you’re going through something rough, shrink your focus on that small window of time to stave off the anxiety of the future and the depression-laden regret of the past. Seneca had that banger quote, “We suffer more in imagination than reality”; just based on that statement, you can tell he was probably a part of the Roman nobility and a rich asshole, but it is true- to some degree- for myself and everyone that I know.