Your 20s are a season of growing pains. The best way to make use of this is to grow through it.  The only way to develop this personal growth is to set goals for yourself, hold yourself accountable, and more importantly develop self-discipline. Developing self-discipline is one of the most life-long impactful things you can do for infinite life-long growth.

1. Develop a Routine

Having a routine is a MUST in your adult life. That means having a morning, night, weekend, and weekday routine.

Why it Works: Having a handle and regular pace on the mundane and recurring parts of life, makes managing the surprises that much easier.

Action Step: Create a morning and night routine for yourself that works for your lifestyle Monday – Friday. Make it specific and actionable!

2. Set Clear Goals

We often have ideas of what we want to do and who we want to become, but don’t make the time to set clear goals and stepping stones to get there.

Why it Works: Having goals means that you have something to apply the self-discipline to. Make sure they’re crystal clear and not vague.

Action Step: Set quarterly goals for the remainder of the year. Make sure the completion of each goal is a building block to the next one. This ensures that you stay on track.

3. Get Used to Delayed Gratification

The short-term results are rarely why you are truly ever doing something. Enjoy the instant gratification that may come, but don’t count on it. Always play the long game. I promise that satisfaction isn’t fleeting.

Why it Works: You’ll find yourself getting through the tough parts for the right reasons, not the instant pat on the back. This will in turn keep you going in the right direction, rather than stopping when someone else applauds you from the sidelines.

Action Step: Focus on the person you want to be, the career you want to have, or the people you want to be surrounded by 15+ years from now, not the things you want in the next 45 days.

4. Start Small

Sometimes we get caught up in the idea of climbing Everest. Although that may be a great thing to strive for long-term, what are the small things you can do tomorrow, to prepare you for climbing Everest later? Starting with the gym is a great way to start small, yet actionable.

Why it Works: Everything is a building block to the greater thing. The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

Action Step: Make a buildable goal for yourself to achieve over the next six months. Challenge yourself by making at least three milestones to hit before the goal is reached.

5. Reduce Distractions

We live in a world that is full of distractions. Although I don’t think it’s possible to escape all of them, I do think it’s possible to drastically reduce them.

Why it Works: It’s impossible to focus when the smallest of things are constantly fighting for your immediate attention.

Action Step: Start with your phone! go into your notifications settings and shut off the ones you know are not important. You can also create different Do Not Disturb settings for yourself too. I have some for work, dinner, sleeping, and workouts – each slightly adjusted to my needs at that given time.

6. Implement the 2-min Rule

The 2-minute Rule is the idea that anything that can be completed in 2 minutes or less, is completed first thing in the morning. Don’t push these things off to later in the day, because the reality is, that procrasting on these small tasks will only make them compound into something bigger in the future.

Why it Works: Being able to complete small tasks right at the start of your brain releases a small hit of dopamine in your brain, in turn encouraging you to continue to do more.

Action Step: Make a short list of the three to four things you complete every morning. Leave room for a wild-card task that will inevitably come up.

7. Develop Healthy Habits

The habits you develop now, are likely the habits you stick to for the rest of your life. You only have one vessel to last you a lifetime. Make sure you take care of it to the best of your ability.

Why it Works: Trying to change bad habits 20 years from now will be a lot harder than establishing good ones now.

Action Step: Swap your least healthy pleasures for a better alternative. Learn to cook, or start cooking more at home.

8. Fail and Learn From It

Failure was once taught to be a negative thing, but many of the successful people that we look up to today would say the opposite. Failure means you’ve learned a new way not to approach something, and will come closer to the best way to go about it next. The faster you fail, in theory, the faster you learn. Just remember to learn from the mistake.

Why it Works: If you never failed, it means you never tried. Give it a go and keep giving it your best shot. Eventually, you’ll find the success you were looking for.

Action Step: Try that thing you were afraid of starting. Start the journey and remember to look back on days 30, 60, and 90. You might just surprise yourself.

9. Be Kind to Yourself

There are a million people out there who are ready and willing to shoot you down. The world doesn’t need another nay-sayer. Be your biggest champion, not your biggest critic.

Why it Works: Being mean to yourself does nothing but continue to discourage you. Negative energy is just that – negative energy. Be a source of positivity for yourself. Choose to be a light.

Action Step: Reflect on all the ways you’ve grown over the past couple of years. Give yourself credit on who you once were, who you are now, and who you are destined to become.

10. Visualize the Future

Sometimes the present can be bleak. We dwell on it and it becomes a ball and chain as we try to get to the next pocket of light. Instead of filling your room with darkness, focus on your dreams for your future. Whether that’s a small moment of dinner with your best friends in your apartment one day, your next vacation, or even the weekends. Visualize the future and let that be a source of light in the dimmer moments of life. No one else is going to pick you up when you are down. So it’s important to develop this self-discipline now.

Why it Works: Sitting in the negative will only make it that much worse. Focusing on the future will give you the energy to get through the present.

Action Step: Think about something you are excited about in the future. Heck, make it your phone screen.

11. Learn How to Say ‘No’

Being a people-pleaser seems like a frictionless path until it’s at your expense. Learn to protect your mental health, your time, and your bandwidth by saying ‘no’ a little more often. On the other hand, if you are always saying ‘yes’ to social engagements when you can make time to focus on yourself and your personal development? Learning how to say ‘no’ can have a profound effect on your self-development.

Why it Works: You can’t be everything to everyone at the same time. You’re going to burn out or be resentful down the road when you realize you put everyone’s wants before your own.

Action Step: Look at your upcoming commitments. Is there anything you really don’t want to do, or something you had to over sacrifice for?

12. Spend Your Time with Like-Minded People

There’s no better way to develop self-discipline than having an army of like-minded people around you who will hold you accountable.  Birds of a feather flock together is a very true statement to live by.

Why it Works: If you’re constantly surrounded by people with opposite goals to yours, you’re highly unlikely to reach your goals. Why? Naturally, we compare ourselves to our peers. Are we behind, or are we ahead, are we on track? If the people you are comparing yourself to, are on another planet, you’re never going to have a true metric on where you should be.

Action Step: Find or build a community of like-minded people around you, like that of the Our So Called 20s community.

13. Remember to Reflect and Celebrate

Life is short. The ride will get bumpy. There will be twists and turns. There’s no doubt about that. Make sure you recognize how far you’ve come and you celebrate the wins as they come. Sometimes these moments are fleeting. Don’t miss them.

Why it Works: Reflecting and celebrating is still part of the journey. It’s like a birthday. Whether you feel accomplished or not, your birthday is coming and you will be celebrated before entering another year of life.

Action Step: Go out with your friends and make something to celebrate. Even if that’s just making it through the week.

Self-discipline isn’t an overnight skill to obtain. It’s a constant work in progress that is muti-facilitated. Give it your best shot, even when things get hard and inconvenient. Remember not to beat yourself up, because at the end of the day, your desire to just want to be better in this department speaks volumes. You ‘d be surprised by how many people don’t care to work on this aspect of their lives or even realize that they need to improve in this area.