I’m not sure about you, but for me, almost every part of my 20s has been a test of courage.

It’s never-ending. Every day presents a new opportunity to remain true to yourself and decide where you want the next step in your life to lead. I say opportunity because it is just that. An opportunity,  a choice, a decision, and possibly an obstacle to overcome. The choice you are left with – are you going to choose courage or not?

What do I mean by this? There’s always an easy option and a slightly more difficult decision. This can be from something as simple as committing to taking control over your health versus continuing to neglect your body. Or it can be something like telling that girl or guy how you really feel versus living in regret and never being honest. It can even be something like choosing to move to a new city and take a new job versus staying where you’re at and remaining comfortable. In all of these scenarios, you were presented with a choice, an opportunity, and a decision as to whether or not to pick courage or comfort.

There’s nothing easy about straying from comfort. If that were the case, it’d be called comfort, not courage. Trust me, there are many times in which I wish I chose comfort, but when I look back at the way things played out, I’m so glad I didn’t. Had I chosen comfort, I would not have gotten growth. Had I chosen comfort, I would not have felt success. Had I strayed from a challenge, I would not have gained skills.  And maybe most importantly, had I chosen comfort, I for sure wouldn’t be where I am today.

There’s a reason why the harder paths traveled lead to the sweetest rewards. If life and success were supposed to be easy, everyone would be rich. If life and success were supposed to be easy, everyone would be Warren Buffett. If life and success were supposed to be easy, would we even realize what we had, let alone be grateful for it?

There’s something sweet about a reward for doing what the majority wouldn’t do. I’d argue getting through the uncomfortable is the hardest part. Having to be the first one to start the conversation. Being the one to speak up in a room of opposite thinkers. Speaking the first words of vulnerability in a sea of silence. Packing up your stuff and starting to move to a new city. These are all the worst parts – the uncomfortable. I’m coming from experience when I say this, but once you get past this part, you’ve made it through the hardest part. It’s up from there! That saying, “Just rip the band-aid off”, I think it is true in every sense of the word. Get through the hardest part. Dive in head first. Don’t delay it. Because after that part, comes healing. After that part, comes growth. After that part comes new beginnings, and sometimes even a new way forward.

Courage isn’t always pretty. It doesn’t always make you the most liked person in the room. It doesn’t always give you the accolade on your way out. But one thing it will always give you is pride and self-respect. Knowing that you did the hard thing when others couldn’t. You did the right thing when others wouldn’t. And you did the scary thing, even though other people said you shouldn’t.

I think an important thing to remember, is that your life is your life. Following the compass of another is like dressing for the weather of a different country. It doesn’t make sense. You should be dressing for the climate you’re in, the climate you’re experiencing, and the climate you know to be true. Of course, you can get advice from people, and I think this is always a great idea when it comes to the people you trust. But to make your life decisions based on the thoughts of others – I’ve only regretted this in my life. At the end of the day, when you wake up in the morning, you’re the only one who has to deal with the consequences, good or bad, of your decisions. You’re the only one living out that life. So why put that control in someone else’s hands?

So when you’re faced with a decision, when you’re faced with the opportunity to be courageous, don’t let the ugly parts scare you away. They’re all part of it.

I failed to trust this at a certain point in my early 20s. I was so unsure of my own thoughts and decisions at one point, I had no connection with my gut. I was so worried about pleasing others that I made my decisions off of what other people wanted, versus what I knew I needed. I hate to say I regret this because I learned from it, but often times I wonder what would have happened in those years if I had trusted my gut.

Your gut is probably one of the best things you have. Get in tune with it. Listen to it and trust it! See the funny thing about your gut, is it tends to be the more confident version of you, while your mind tends to be the more insecure, timid part of you. Of course, you should think through all your decisions – your mind, but don’t let your mind trick you into believing that “you can’t do something”. Your gut, on the other hand, that’s the thing that tells you “I got this if I just keep on keeping on.”. That thing – listen to it. Believe it. Follow it. Trust it. Odds are your gut is going to make the courageous decision and that is bound to lead to something sweet.

It’s scary I know. I used to hate it, and sometimes I still do. I’m not sure I know anyone who really likes it, but fortunately or unfortunately, it’s a part of life. You can’t escape it and to be honest, you can’t fake it.

Although off-putting, there are so many benefits to this form of courage. Being vulnerable typically leads to grace. It typically leads to understanding, respect, appreciation, unity, and so many other positive things. There is such a stigma that being vulnerable means you’re weak. I don’t think this could be further from the truth. Being vulnerable means that you’re so confident in who you are, what you have to offer, and what you’re good at, that the expression of emotions and feelings won’t change any of that. Vulnerability to me is one of the most impressive, strong, and courageous attributes a person can possess, no matter how high up in society or the corporate chain they are.  To be able to be relatable, understood, and open on an emotional level – that’s no easy feat.

Vulnerability can come in so many different forms. It can look like

– Telling your boss at work that you’re struggling with some things at home, so you might not be as perky or eager as you normally are, but it’s not reflective of your desire or commitment to be there.

– Telling your partner you’re struggling with some internal things and you need to step away and take care of yourself.

– Admitting you messed up or made a wrong call.

– Asking for help when you need it.

– Picking up the phone and talking to someone about what you’re struggling with.

– Starting something new, may that be a business or an organization.

So when you have a choice in life, choose the route that can result in the thing you truly want, no matter how uncomfortable you may be. The reward is so much better than the result that comes from choosing comfort. I know I’ve never regretted choosing courage, but I have regretted choosing comfort. Only you know what’s best for you, but make sure you’re looking at your compass and not someone else’s.